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estiriseThis is the sequel to "Boxed In", and takes place in the universe of that story (which was written between Kiva episodes 2-5). I've got a pet theory or two in here, but it's minor.
Start Again
by Estirose
c 2008
Wataru shivered and shrank into a little ball in his guest chambers at the Castle. At least the building was called the Castle by the Executioner and Hiraoka-san, and probably every Fangaire. It was the home of the Fangaire councils, maintained by the Fangaire collectively, and had a domestic staff - all human - and a small Fangaire staff. Right now Wataru's room was blocked off from human contact, an isolation room for new Fangaire who had yet to master energy draining.
That would be him, and him alone, apparently, though that would change if the Executioner was right and there were Fangaire that were killing humans. More Fangaire being killed for killing humans meant more of the half-Fangaire being changed. And there might be half-Fangaire out there - Wataru refused to call others like him 'Fandiri', the human-adopted Fangaire term for them - who, like him, didn't want to be changed.
Yuri-san had given him horror stories of what would happen if he fell into the hands of the Fangaire. And she had been right; the change had taken an agonizing forever as he'd been nearly drained and then given the energy to change him into Fangaire. He had a suspicion that he'd have hated being fed energy; he knew that he hated being drained, though he didn't remember actually being drained when the Executioner had captured him. The drain had been terrifying in itself, and in its own way an affirmation, a reminder that he should never inflict an energy drain so strong on a human. But the actual feeding had felt like he was being burned from inside out, causing him to struggle against the head of the Council as other hands restrained him.
He had to wonder if that was because he was being changed, or if it would happen every time he drained the energy he now needed to stay alive. And then he wondered if it was possible to starve himself to death, and if the council would do something if he proved unexpectedly suicidal. He wondered if there were Fangaire out there who were fed energy by their friends and family because they refused to go out and feed themselves. Yuri-san had said that eventually those Fangaire became dangerous, so starved that they attacked humans. And then they died, by the Executioner's hand, or by Hunters.
Wataru didn't want to attack humans, so it looked like he didn't have much choice in the matter. He'd have to feed like any other Fangaire.
Yuri-san would be horrified, Megumi-san too. His father probably also, but maybe not as much. Yuri-san would want to know what in the hell Wataru was thinking, and he wondered if she might have advised him to try to die in the midst of the change instead of making it through. Of course, he had the feeling he'd been somewhat restrained throughout the whole thing; he probably couldn't have gotten away if he'd tried.
Wataru wondered how long it would take Yuri-san to find out. And if she'd yell at him first or if he'd never see her again.
* * *
After leaving Wataru in the locked room, the Executioner had discussed the growing threat of the so-called "eco-killers" with some of the council. They all agreed that the growing movement was a threat, and that he was going to have to be doing a lot of work for a few years. Since Wataru was changed, that made his job in some ways infinitely easier. There would be some kind of backup. And if Wataru for some reason got killed?
Hm. Maybe it was time to trace back Wataru's maternal line and convince Wataru's mother and Otoya to conceive again. Once Wataru manifested his other form, the Executioner could use records to figure out who his mother was from the form Wataru took. That part of his ancestry was in his DNA.
But in the meantime, Wataru had to be trained not to kill when draining.
He was sure that there would be some kind of celebration, and some human brought in as Wataru's first meal as a Fangaire. Best that he had plenty of experienced Fangaire around him when he made his first drain, just in case. That's how it was always done, and probably was better for Wataru than taking him straight home.
"Executioner," Hiraoka Hotaru said. "Are you thinking of Wataru?"
"Well, it will be his first time eating as a Fangaire," he said. He hadn't considered how Wataru might react to being told he had to feed; Wataru was their first feral to be changed. Not the first feral-born, but definitely the first one that was still feral to go through the change.
"I thought he was going to struggle himself out of change," Hotaru confessed. "I'm thankful that Ohme-san thought that it might be a good thing to restrain Wataru, given that he's still feral."
The Executioner nodded. He was glad for it as well, Wataru being the only viable choice he'd seen in years. "He had consented to it, and he still didn't take it well."
"I... I wish we'd rescued him earlier," Hotaru said. "To have all this baggage heaped on him. He'll grow out of it in time, but it's going to be rough for him."
"If you had, he wouldn't have been as good a candidate for my apprentice," the Executioner said. "I should have claimed his group as a helper group earlier. I was careless."
"You, being careless," Hotaru said, an amused note entering her tone. "But yes, you should have. Actually, it might be a good idea to pound into Wataru's head that he needs to be less... radical."
"You're asking a hunter-born hopefully soon-to-not-be-feral Fangaire apprentice of mine to be less radical?" the Executioner asked.
"Yes," Hotaru said, looking down the hall. The Executioner had to wonder if she was expecting the lucky human to show up any minute. Some of them did count it lucky to be a new Fangaire's first drain. The Executioner didn't quite get it, but at least it was as safe as anything. And at least it might make it easier for Wataru. He remembered how hard it was himself, newly changed, was worried that he'd drain the human to death by accident. It was probably a bit worse for Wataru.
"I don't think Wataru is ever going to be a clone of me," the Executioner said. "He is bright, though, and that will help him."
"And he's a good, obedient boy," Hotaru said, apparently recalling when she had temporary custody of the Executioner's apprentice. "But still a boy, and he doesn't understand some things."
"He'll learn," the Executioner said. He looked where Hotaru was looking.
Yes, it seemed that the human Wataru would feed upon was there. And being Wataru's 'parent', he had to bring the boy in and help him through his first drain. "Excuse me."
Hotaru just nodded.
* * *
Wataru looked up as the door opened, revealing the Executioner. "Wataru," he said, "Come with me."
"Are we going back?" Wataru asked. It occured to him that Hiraoka-san still had some of his belongings.
"Not yet," the Executioner said. "Actually, it's time for you to learn how to drain."
Wataru inwardly winced. He knew he was going to have to learn how, but so soon? "Now?"
The Executioner shrugged. "Just look at it as one of those ceremonial things, and you'll have a bunch of people around you to make sure you don't kill your food source."
A human. Wataru would have to drain a human, even if it was only slightly. He knew running away wouldn't help the problem, and would make things worse. At best he'd get lost; at worse, he'd run across a human and might accidentally drain them. He nodded tentatively.
"Come on, Wataru," the Executioner said. Wataru followed him, as obediently as possible.
He was surprised to find himself in the council chambers. Most of the council was there, and a few people he didn't recognize, presumably all Fangaire. He wondered where the human was.
"Wataru," Hiraoka-san said, smiling. "Welcome back."
Wataru nodded nervously. What was he supposed to do here?
"This is Matsuda-san," she said, indicating the young woman, maybe a little older than he was, that stood beside her. "She's agreed to let you drain her a little, so that you are fed."
A little? Wataru wondered how he was supposed to do that.
"Why don't you hold Matsuda-san's hands, Wataru?" Hiraoka-san suggested gently, and he did. "Can you feel her energy?"
"Yes," he said. There was so much energy there, energy that he hadn't been able to feel before. Somewhere inside, something wanted to draw all that life essence out. He resisted it, not wanting to die shortly after the change.
"You want to take only a little bit," Hiraoka-san said. "You want to leave the rest of that there, for *her* to enjoy."
Wataru nodded nervously. He focused, taking a small amount of the energy, hopefully enough to live on. He then let go of her hands. "That's a little bit low, Wataru," Hiraoka-san told him. "About half of what you need. Try taking just a little bit more."
"Right," he said, as the girl offered her hands to him. He took them reluctantly and concentrated again on her energy, taking a bit more, scared to pull too much.
"Good, Wataru," Hiraoka-san said. "See? You've made it through your
first feeding." Wataru had the sense that she'd probably done this before. Multiple times. He felt like he was a child learning how to eat.
Of course, in this case, he was learning how to 'eat', not eat.
"See, I don't have to to send you to the Judicial Council your first time," the Executioner said encouragingly.
He was quietly congratulated by the rest of the council, and much to his surprise, Matsuda-san, who gave him her phone number. "In case you are in the area sometime," she said.
Wataru had the impression that she meant for more than a friendly visit.
By the time the day finished, the Executioner was driving them home. "It's not like we need sleep," he said. "Just nourishment. Food."
"Humans," Wataru said. Was he going to have to live the rest of his life drawing energy from them? Of course he was. He was a Fangaire now. And he suspected he'd much, much rather be a human.
"Right," the Executioner said. "Be grateful, in a way. Centuries ago,before even I was born, there were other beings that weren't... quite... as civilized as we Fangaire. And one of those kinds required humans to reproduce with as well - the Wolfen. I hear they gradually changed their children into their full kind, and they changed every child. They weren't as discerning as we are about ours. Of course, they had no compunction about killing humans, either, when they weren't reproducing with them. We took care of the Wolfen, but it happened at a price."
"What price as that?" Wataru asked, knowing that the Executioner wouldn't be talking about the subject for no reason.
"Well, there are no Wolfen, which we're beginning to regret now. After all, there was a place in the system for them, they just needed to not kill their food supply - we took action because they were killing humans. All it should have taken was capturing a couple of changed Wolfen pups and they could be alongside us today. Nowadays, we can only watch their bloodlines, and some of those descendants don't really want to be watched. Sometime we get lucky, though, find those lost bloodlines."
Wataru recalled dimly that Megumi-san's father had claimed Wolfen blood. But the man was long out of Megumi-san's life, and he hadn't cared for Wataru much anyway because of Wataru's Fangaire ancestry. He'd had no idea that they'd kept track of Wolfen bloodlines - did they know about Megumi-san? Did they know about her father?
Or was theirs a bloodline that had escaped the Fangaire's scrutiny?
Start Again
by Estirose
c 2008
Wataru shivered and shrank into a little ball in his guest chambers at the Castle. At least the building was called the Castle by the Executioner and Hiraoka-san, and probably every Fangaire. It was the home of the Fangaire councils, maintained by the Fangaire collectively, and had a domestic staff - all human - and a small Fangaire staff. Right now Wataru's room was blocked off from human contact, an isolation room for new Fangaire who had yet to master energy draining.
That would be him, and him alone, apparently, though that would change if the Executioner was right and there were Fangaire that were killing humans. More Fangaire being killed for killing humans meant more of the half-Fangaire being changed. And there might be half-Fangaire out there - Wataru refused to call others like him 'Fandiri', the human-adopted Fangaire term for them - who, like him, didn't want to be changed.
Yuri-san had given him horror stories of what would happen if he fell into the hands of the Fangaire. And she had been right; the change had taken an agonizing forever as he'd been nearly drained and then given the energy to change him into Fangaire. He had a suspicion that he'd have hated being fed energy; he knew that he hated being drained, though he didn't remember actually being drained when the Executioner had captured him. The drain had been terrifying in itself, and in its own way an affirmation, a reminder that he should never inflict an energy drain so strong on a human. But the actual feeding had felt like he was being burned from inside out, causing him to struggle against the head of the Council as other hands restrained him.
He had to wonder if that was because he was being changed, or if it would happen every time he drained the energy he now needed to stay alive. And then he wondered if it was possible to starve himself to death, and if the council would do something if he proved unexpectedly suicidal. He wondered if there were Fangaire out there who were fed energy by their friends and family because they refused to go out and feed themselves. Yuri-san had said that eventually those Fangaire became dangerous, so starved that they attacked humans. And then they died, by the Executioner's hand, or by Hunters.
Wataru didn't want to attack humans, so it looked like he didn't have much choice in the matter. He'd have to feed like any other Fangaire.
Yuri-san would be horrified, Megumi-san too. His father probably also, but maybe not as much. Yuri-san would want to know what in the hell Wataru was thinking, and he wondered if she might have advised him to try to die in the midst of the change instead of making it through. Of course, he had the feeling he'd been somewhat restrained throughout the whole thing; he probably couldn't have gotten away if he'd tried.
Wataru wondered how long it would take Yuri-san to find out. And if she'd yell at him first or if he'd never see her again.
* * *
After leaving Wataru in the locked room, the Executioner had discussed the growing threat of the so-called "eco-killers" with some of the council. They all agreed that the growing movement was a threat, and that he was going to have to be doing a lot of work for a few years. Since Wataru was changed, that made his job in some ways infinitely easier. There would be some kind of backup. And if Wataru for some reason got killed?
Hm. Maybe it was time to trace back Wataru's maternal line and convince Wataru's mother and Otoya to conceive again. Once Wataru manifested his other form, the Executioner could use records to figure out who his mother was from the form Wataru took. That part of his ancestry was in his DNA.
But in the meantime, Wataru had to be trained not to kill when draining.
He was sure that there would be some kind of celebration, and some human brought in as Wataru's first meal as a Fangaire. Best that he had plenty of experienced Fangaire around him when he made his first drain, just in case. That's how it was always done, and probably was better for Wataru than taking him straight home.
"Executioner," Hiraoka Hotaru said. "Are you thinking of Wataru?"
"Well, it will be his first time eating as a Fangaire," he said. He hadn't considered how Wataru might react to being told he had to feed; Wataru was their first feral to be changed. Not the first feral-born, but definitely the first one that was still feral to go through the change.
"I thought he was going to struggle himself out of change," Hotaru confessed. "I'm thankful that Ohme-san thought that it might be a good thing to restrain Wataru, given that he's still feral."
The Executioner nodded. He was glad for it as well, Wataru being the only viable choice he'd seen in years. "He had consented to it, and he still didn't take it well."
"I... I wish we'd rescued him earlier," Hotaru said. "To have all this baggage heaped on him. He'll grow out of it in time, but it's going to be rough for him."
"If you had, he wouldn't have been as good a candidate for my apprentice," the Executioner said. "I should have claimed his group as a helper group earlier. I was careless."
"You, being careless," Hotaru said, an amused note entering her tone. "But yes, you should have. Actually, it might be a good idea to pound into Wataru's head that he needs to be less... radical."
"You're asking a hunter-born hopefully soon-to-not-be-feral Fangaire apprentice of mine to be less radical?" the Executioner asked.
"Yes," Hotaru said, looking down the hall. The Executioner had to wonder if she was expecting the lucky human to show up any minute. Some of them did count it lucky to be a new Fangaire's first drain. The Executioner didn't quite get it, but at least it was as safe as anything. And at least it might make it easier for Wataru. He remembered how hard it was himself, newly changed, was worried that he'd drain the human to death by accident. It was probably a bit worse for Wataru.
"I don't think Wataru is ever going to be a clone of me," the Executioner said. "He is bright, though, and that will help him."
"And he's a good, obedient boy," Hotaru said, apparently recalling when she had temporary custody of the Executioner's apprentice. "But still a boy, and he doesn't understand some things."
"He'll learn," the Executioner said. He looked where Hotaru was looking.
Yes, it seemed that the human Wataru would feed upon was there. And being Wataru's 'parent', he had to bring the boy in and help him through his first drain. "Excuse me."
Hotaru just nodded.
* * *
Wataru looked up as the door opened, revealing the Executioner. "Wataru," he said, "Come with me."
"Are we going back?" Wataru asked. It occured to him that Hiraoka-san still had some of his belongings.
"Not yet," the Executioner said. "Actually, it's time for you to learn how to drain."
Wataru inwardly winced. He knew he was going to have to learn how, but so soon? "Now?"
The Executioner shrugged. "Just look at it as one of those ceremonial things, and you'll have a bunch of people around you to make sure you don't kill your food source."
A human. Wataru would have to drain a human, even if it was only slightly. He knew running away wouldn't help the problem, and would make things worse. At best he'd get lost; at worse, he'd run across a human and might accidentally drain them. He nodded tentatively.
"Come on, Wataru," the Executioner said. Wataru followed him, as obediently as possible.
He was surprised to find himself in the council chambers. Most of the council was there, and a few people he didn't recognize, presumably all Fangaire. He wondered where the human was.
"Wataru," Hiraoka-san said, smiling. "Welcome back."
Wataru nodded nervously. What was he supposed to do here?
"This is Matsuda-san," she said, indicating the young woman, maybe a little older than he was, that stood beside her. "She's agreed to let you drain her a little, so that you are fed."
A little? Wataru wondered how he was supposed to do that.
"Why don't you hold Matsuda-san's hands, Wataru?" Hiraoka-san suggested gently, and he did. "Can you feel her energy?"
"Yes," he said. There was so much energy there, energy that he hadn't been able to feel before. Somewhere inside, something wanted to draw all that life essence out. He resisted it, not wanting to die shortly after the change.
"You want to take only a little bit," Hiraoka-san said. "You want to leave the rest of that there, for *her* to enjoy."
Wataru nodded nervously. He focused, taking a small amount of the energy, hopefully enough to live on. He then let go of her hands. "That's a little bit low, Wataru," Hiraoka-san told him. "About half of what you need. Try taking just a little bit more."
"Right," he said, as the girl offered her hands to him. He took them reluctantly and concentrated again on her energy, taking a bit more, scared to pull too much.
"Good, Wataru," Hiraoka-san said. "See? You've made it through your
first feeding." Wataru had the sense that she'd probably done this before. Multiple times. He felt like he was a child learning how to eat.
Of course, in this case, he was learning how to 'eat', not eat.
"See, I don't have to to send you to the Judicial Council your first time," the Executioner said encouragingly.
He was quietly congratulated by the rest of the council, and much to his surprise, Matsuda-san, who gave him her phone number. "In case you are in the area sometime," she said.
Wataru had the impression that she meant for more than a friendly visit.
By the time the day finished, the Executioner was driving them home. "It's not like we need sleep," he said. "Just nourishment. Food."
"Humans," Wataru said. Was he going to have to live the rest of his life drawing energy from them? Of course he was. He was a Fangaire now. And he suspected he'd much, much rather be a human.
"Right," the Executioner said. "Be grateful, in a way. Centuries ago,before even I was born, there were other beings that weren't... quite... as civilized as we Fangaire. And one of those kinds required humans to reproduce with as well - the Wolfen. I hear they gradually changed their children into their full kind, and they changed every child. They weren't as discerning as we are about ours. Of course, they had no compunction about killing humans, either, when they weren't reproducing with them. We took care of the Wolfen, but it happened at a price."
"What price as that?" Wataru asked, knowing that the Executioner wouldn't be talking about the subject for no reason.
"Well, there are no Wolfen, which we're beginning to regret now. After all, there was a place in the system for them, they just needed to not kill their food supply - we took action because they were killing humans. All it should have taken was capturing a couple of changed Wolfen pups and they could be alongside us today. Nowadays, we can only watch their bloodlines, and some of those descendants don't really want to be watched. Sometime we get lucky, though, find those lost bloodlines."
Wataru recalled dimly that Megumi-san's father had claimed Wolfen blood. But the man was long out of Megumi-san's life, and he hadn't cared for Wataru much anyway because of Wataru's Fangaire ancestry. He'd had no idea that they'd kept track of Wolfen bloodlines - did they know about Megumi-san? Did they know about her father?
Or was theirs a bloodline that had escaped the Fangaire's scrutiny?
